Do you have an inner dialogue with yourself about the decisions you make?
Is the voice you hear in your head a fucking asshole? Do you wish they would just eat shit and die??!!
In my 20s I had an asshole living in my head too… they would tell me, “nope, no way, you can’t carry that 5 iron over the tree and onto the green! You are being a complete idiot if you try that shot!”
Well the asshole in my head did eat shit and die about 3 years ago. I buried their miserable ass along with all the regret and bullshit other people said about me that I believed.
It wasn’t easy. It was hard. I just about hit rock bottom when I realized my biggest problem wasn’t other people, bad luck or timing, it was me. My problem was me. All the bad and all the good.
Every decision I had ever made in my life brought me to where I am at any given moment. Like right now, I’m typing this because of the putt I missed in Columbus Ohio back in 1997. Every thing that I have done equals this moment. Everything I do is my fault. Good or bad. Period. End of story.
Once I arrived at this mind blowing realization my world and my path seemed clear. I began to reflect that person I always wanted to be.
In the last few weeks I’ve worked hard on getting to the roots of what makes me, me. AND I’M DAMNED PROUD OF IT.
In my 20s I was defensive. Scared really. Now I’m overwhelmingly pragmatically positive (I made up that term). In other words, I believe logic usually wins but I’m open to optimism and luck. Could be why I’ve become a minimalist.
My job description is basically convincing people how awesome they are, most days it’s agonizing.
In basic term this really makes me a student of thought. As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, “You become what you think about”. Thoughts are powerful.
I teach golf, trade options and coach entrepreneurs… from what I’ve gathered most of my students, including myself, have 1 of 3 methods of self talk or the thoughts we pay the most attention to from that asshole in our head (or a combination of the 3):
In my mid 40s I have the cheerleading pragmatist.
A few of my students have a cheerleading tyrant in their head. This self talk starts off positive but then turns quite negative and even abusive! WTF?!
This asshole will say things like “Oh no! Here we go again with this idea you can be a golfer. Why are we wasting our time? Can’t we just go home and NetFlix and chill?” This shit happens in the middle of their swing!
One of the thoughts I replay over and over in my head is what my dad told me after another failed attempt at Q-School… “Stop throwing good money after bad. Sweetheart m, you could go down to Crown Colony and have those people eating out of your hand” That was when I thought he didn’t believe in me anymore. The truth was he didn’t believe in himself. I never knew my dad to take any risk – ever.
Whatever the case might be for you and your asshole in your head, give them the finger! And you can start living the life you want in the way you want.
I did and you can too.